The Great Dating Experiment

Back on the horse again...

Good evening blog readers!  So, it's been a while since my last post and I do apologize for that.  Since last I posted, I went on my final 4 dates through IJL.  Read below for a "Cliff's Notes" version of these dates :) 

The reason for my absence was because I was really feeling discouraged that a guy I could date actually even existed. I think some of the real issue is that going on dates through IJL immediately puts you in a dating scenario without the chance to be friendly with someone first.  There's no crush...no flirting...just sitting at dinner with a complete stranger.  Bizarre.

So here are the brief date updates:

1) Bus Driver / Night Shift worker:  He shows up for dinner on his way to work.  This relationship probably won't work considering he is going into work, when I am coming home.  When in God's green earth are we supposed to date and get to know each other? Date #8 - a schedule nightmare.

2) Finance / Gun guy:  Really nice guy - but super loud.  Oh I mean SUPER LOUD.  He had that laugh that everyone hears all over and stops to stare.  That could have been OK, but he ended up being a Bush lovin, gun-totin, cowboy boot wearin' guy.  Um, I don't do guns.  Not my bag.  Date #9 - bang!  Shot dead.

3) Long Distance guy:  Actually spent the first half of the date discussing our dislike of IJL - which suprisingly led us to really hit it off.  He lived 1.5 hours from me, though. We both acknowledged the distance...apparently it was too much for him.  Date #10 - Gas prices were too high - no phone call from him.

4) Hoity-toity Zoolander guy:  Ok, this guy was so annoying.  He could not have been more stuck up the entire time.  You know, that aloof guy who thinks he's awesome, but he's really just annoying and snobbish, and you want to punch him in the face.  Well, I had lunch with him!  The worst part was, he kept making that Zoolander face - Blue Steel!  Ugh.  Worst date ever! Thankfully, he didn't like me either and did not ask for my number.  Phew!  Date #11 - Zoolander brat - no thanks.

So ends the saga of IJL.  Unfortunately, Mr. Right did not come from this endeavor.  I am now in search of other ways to meet potential dates.  Suggestions are welcome.  I'm thinking volunteer organizations...Or easy sports - think Kickball. 

I'll try to keep this updated for you all at least once per week.  I cannot let dating get me down - and a single gal's gotta vent somwhere :)

Until we meet again...

The Marrying Type.

Good morning blog readers!  I hope this post finds you well.  Earlier this evening me and some friends enjoyed dinner and then some drinks at a local pub.  Here's what transpired...

We got to the pub and ordered a round.  They have our favorite beer on-tap - Magic Hat #9 so we all were happy to be there.  As we enjoyed our beers we noticed a poor chap who had obviously bought a shirt that day and had decided to wear it tonight.  How did we know that?  Because one of the stickers was still stuck on the collar of the shirt!

At this point, as a nice gal, I can't let him wander around the rest of the night with this sticker on his collar.  So I walk over and tell him the issue.  We get the sticker off and start to talk.  He seems nice enough, but it seems we don't have a lot in common.  Finally, he says to me "So why aren't you married?"  I say, "I guess I haven't found the right guy.  I'm a little picky."  He says, "Well, you're almost 30 so I'm sure you want to get married."

I'm sorry.  What?!?!  I am 28 years old and am in no rush to get married.  Where does he get off saying this???  He continues to push the topic so I escape to the bathroom and when I return, I stay with my friends, not saying much else to him.  Then he decides he needs to come over to me and continue talking.  Super annoying. 

At this point we all decide to leave.  He "fist bumps"' me and we get the hell outta there.  What in the world was that conversation?  It was a waste of time, breathe, and energy.  Why do "almost 30 year-old" women have some rampant desire to get married?  Oh wait. We don't. 

As I said at the bar, if I had to choose my career or a marriage by the time I'm 30...I'd choose my career everytime.  At least until I find the "right" guy! 

Moral of the story - guys in bars?  Still shady.

Is this thing on?

Good morning blog readers!  I'm so glad you could join me for another edition of the Great Dating Experiment.  Last night I had another adventure in dating through IJL with a young man named "J".  Well, let's just say the high light of the dinner were the crab cakes.  Here's what went down...

So I arrive at the restaurant 10 minutes late.  I know, I know - that is rude.  But I have to tell you the valet at this place could not have been more awful.  I sat in my car for 5 minutes waiting for him to come get my car.  I mean, I'm a single gal in the city.  I can't be parking my car in random lots in downtown Cleveland after dark!  So anywho, he finally get to my car (that hoodlum) and allegedly parks it.  We'll come back to this valet later...

I walk into the restaurant where I'm taken to "J" and I apologize for my lateness.  First impressions were a little rough.  "J" has a goatie.  As many of you may know, I have issues with facial hair.  I think it either looks really good...or it looks really bad.  Let's just say this was not a goodie.  He stands up to shake my hand (what a gentleman), and he is definitley at least an inch shorter than me.  Now, I was wearing heels...but when am I not??  You know how I feel about shoes!

Moving onto conversation with "J" - he is nice, has a good job, asks questions - so overall seems like a good guy.  But what is missing?  Humor.  I mean is it too much to ask for a guy to have all the above attributes plus be funny and charming??

I will admit that I accidentally got on the subject of religion at one point...don't ask - I'm an idiot.  But basically, I wanted to ask if he was ready for Christmas and it turns out he is Jewish.  Great work, Jenny.  Nothing like keeping it casual.  Anyway, he didn't seem phased and he told me how he celebrates both holidays.  Phew!

So we end the date and he awkwardly ends it with, "I had fun tonight.  You have a good personality and I find you attractive."  Okie dokie then - that's to the point.  We go to find the amazing valet to get my car...and he basically parked it on the street right in front of the restaurant.  So he gets my keys off the rack, hands them to me, and just points to my car.  Worst valet ever.  I coulda parked there! 

Thankfully, the date ended with "J" saying he'd call me after the New Year.  I'm thinking it'll be a no-go when he calls...

Moral of the story - IJL really needs to listen to what I'm looking for.  I mean, is this thing on? 

Holy Backpack Batman!

Good evening blog readers!  I was set up again with another young man, "B" through IJL.  Again, the date was not lunch it was dinner...so perhaps they should change the name of the service to IJD??  Oh well, semantics :)  Here's the scoop...

I get to the restaurant and walk up to the hostess.  I mention I have reservations for Jenny and "B".  She replies in an overly enthusiastic, high pitched voice "'B' who you've never met???"  I reply, "Yes, that's the one."  She says in an even higher-pitched voice how happy she is to introduce us.  Then she bounces (literally) over to the table where "B" is sitting.  Calm down lady!  It's not your date!!!

Unfortunately for "B", male pattern baldness has set in early.  I'm cool with bald men, but you need to keep the hair cut tight - as in super short - or just shave it.  He is sporting a fantastic short sleeved plaid button down, pleated front khakis, white socks with brown shoes, and...a backpack. 

Now, the number one question I get when I say this last piece of clothing is "What was in the backpack?"  Unfortunately, I did not think to ask...but now thinking on it, it may have been an amazing conversation.  What if he had brought his trophies to show me from his bowling league?  Perhaps his massive hat collection?  Or maybe that's where he was keeping his adorable dog that he wanted me to meet?  Ah well, missed opportunity and I'll never know...

So, I'm not super impressed by his outward appearance, but I figure he could be super hilarious and outgoing and sweet - better give him a chance.  At this point I proceed with dinner as usual - questions are asked and answered.  However, I can tell he doesn't get me.  Some say I'm bubbley...some say I'm kooky...some say I'm just plain crazy...but whatever I am...he was not liking it. 

We ended the date with a handshake and a "nice to meet you" and I was on my merry way.  Thankfully, I won't have to see him again.  Who wants to see a guy who doesn't get her? 

One thing is for sure...I'll always wonder what was in that backpack.

Check please.

Hey gang!  Sorry it's been such a long time since my last post.  Honestly, life has been hectic, hectic, hectic.  With a little Mexican vacation thrown in there!  Well, I have a great story from vacation - but I'll save that for my next post.  Tonight I am delving into last night's date with - duh, duh, duuuuuh - "R".

"R" is an engineer and studying to get his MBA.  So I'm thinking he's gotta be an interesting guy.  Unfortuantely, I was wrong.  As a wise person once told me, "never assume anything."  Let's examine the pros and cons of the date...

Cons -

1. "R" is very proper for a 26 year old. Everytime I make an observation he says "of course". He also uses big phrases and odd intonation.  I'm a smart gal - but please relax.  It's a date, not an interview.
2. "R" prefers white wine. If you're a man who drinks wine - it better be red...or you should stick to beer. Women can drink whatever they want :)  Naturally.
3. "R" and I enjoyed at least 3 runs of total silence. Partly my fault, I admit...but that's not a good sign.
4. "R" often referred to his married friends, hating to be a third wheel, missing trips because it was all couples except him...ummm that smells of desperation my friend. I'm a gal who hopes to get married one day, but holy crap! That's intense on a first date.

Pros -

1. I got to hone my rambling skills. As silence settled upon the table...I'd delve into in-depth stories on movie plots, equestrian team bus rides, and even my Match.com horror stories.
2. "R" thought I was hilarious. Probably good - because I am. What? Aren't you laughing at me right now?? See - hilarious.
3. "R" was extremely polite and courteous. Thankfully through his awkwardness - I found him to be a total gentleman.

Well, let's just say, the cons outweighed the pros...so "R" and me will most likely NOT be going out again.  Strike 5 people.  Oh wait...aren't there only 3 strikes in baseball...?

Moral of this story - polite won't cut it if there's no spark there.  Stay tuned for the vacation story update - coming soon!!!

The date update.

Good evening!  I hope this blog finds you well.  I wanted to apologize for my lack of blogging recently, however, I have been date-free for about 1.5 weeks!  So needless to say I have not had a lot of material to write about.  None-the-less I wanted to give an update on where I'm at...

Update 1 - 23 year old, nervous magoo:  Ok, so he's pretty sweet and has been texting me on the regular.  He even sent a quote:  "Winter is an etching, Spring a watercolor, Summer an oil painting, and Autumn a mosaic of them all." 

I figured eventually he'd call to ask me out or have a real conversation...no such luck.  The boy just keeps texting!  I mean, I like texting as a means of flirtation as much as any gal...but when he just texts to say how beautiful it is outside I start to think "sh*t or get off the pot!"  Why text without purpose ALL THE TIME! 

Moral of the texting 23 year old:  No human being can sustain a meaningful relationship based on 160 characters or less.  That being said - if he works up the nerve to ask me out or call me...I'll probably see how a second date goes :)

Update 2 - men in bars:  So I went out this weekend to a bar and at the very end of the night I walk past this guy and he shouts at me "Yo girl!  Can I get your number?"  I turn around to see a fully "FUBU'd" man with "fresh whites" on looking at me.  Ummm - what in the world??? 

So I walk over and he says "Just tell it to me - I got a great memory."  At this point I think, what's to lose...he most likely won't even remember it...so I give him the digits.  Around 2:39 AM - I get the call.  He says he really likes my ring back and he wanted to call but (long pause) I probably won't call back.  He sounded so dejected, but after much pondering...I can't bring myself to date his baggy jean wearing butt. 

Men in bars?  Still no good for the Jen-meister.

Well, I have a date tonight with "M" who is 34.  He sounds nice...but they all do at first!  Stay tuned to this channel for late breaking dating updates!

Cougar in Training

Happy Tuesday everyone!  Great news - this past Sunday I had another fabulous date from IJL.  This time, it was with "S" - a 23 year old personal trainer.  Oh yes.  You heard right...23!  So I'm thinking this cannot go well, he is waaaaay too young...right?  Here's how it went down:

I arrive at XO - delicious - and walk in.  I had bought a new outfit that day and felt like I was looking damn good.  He's already there and waiting at the table, so I sit down and the date begins.  Now, as I mentioned I looked damn good so I'm a little perplexed when "S" is having trouble looking at me, making conversation, etc.  Then I notice the problem...he's nervous.  I mean hands shaking, probably gonna puke, nervous. 

In all honesty, I think it's kinda cute that he's nervous and, in a strange way, it gives me more confidence.  Now I feel like my nerves were nothing compared to this guy!  I can handle any situation! 

Well, "S" starts to come out of his shell around the time dinner is wrapping up, which is kind of a shame because I was just getting to know him!  We do exchange numbers and I'm looking forward to talking to him minus the nerves soon.  Best part of the date?  When he got home that night and texted me - "great conversation with a gorgeous woman."  So I was looking damn good! 

More to come on this one - but being a cougar in training seems kind of amazing!

Big rejection calls for a new mantra.

Hello fine friends!  I hope this blog find you well.  Tonight's blog topic is about the less desirable part of dating...rejection.  Oh yes.  I have come to realize that while putting yourself out there you do indeed run the risk of being rejected.  Over...and over...and over again. 

Exhibit A:  Today is exactly one week from my last IJL date with "J".  Well, as you may be able to tell from my lack of posts, he did not call.  Of course my natural response is to think "What's wrong with me?"  I've pondered it. I've labored over it.  I've cried about it...hey, I'm emotional! (it's part of my charm).  But what's the resolution?

Exhibit B:  eHarmony continues to be a total bust.  Worst $280 I've ever spent.  Basically, when I start communication with anyone they "Close Communication."  When I do nothing they "Close Communication."  How is a gal supposed to get ahead with this sort of set-up?  I mean, it's almost worse than Match.com.  But what's the resolution?

One cannot mope about all day and feel like rejection is taking over their life.  I think I need to adopt a mantra.  Something good, something classic...something true :)  I'm adopting it, I'm saying it in a mirror, I'm moving beyond the rejection...Here it is - the new mantra:

Mary Poppins Jenny.  Practically perfect in every way.

Now that's a mantra. (if only I had a British accent...)

Heels + chivalry = a great combo.

Good evening everyone!  Sorry for the lengthy pause in my blog posts.  I hadn't had a ton of updates to get to you.  Thankfully, I did have another date through IJL last night.  Apparently they should change their name to It's Just Dinner :)  But I digress...

Anywho, I was going out with "J" and we meet at the Saucy Bistro.  I'm actually pretty excited because I've never been there before.  When I get there he is waiting for me at the bar and we grab out table. 

Now, some people debate the strategy I'm about to discuss...but let me explain.  I heard from my IJL coordinator that "J" is 5'9", so I purposely wear some of my higher heels.  For those who know me, I'm 5'8" so my "higher heels" make me taller than my date for sure.  Don't scold me yet!  As some of you further know, I have an affinity towards footwear...so if I'm gonna date a guy who is my height, he better be damn sure he is OK with me being taller than him when I sport my best heels. Now doesn't that make sense???  Good news - "J" seemed fine with it :)

The date went well - good converstaion, funny stories, hard-working guy.  Plus, bonus points for "J" - he drove to my side of town because that's what a man should do...and when our separate checks came to the table he grabbed mine and insisted on paying because that's what a man should do.  Looks like someone was raised right. 

In summary... High heel test? Check.   Gentlemanly? Check.   Exchange of digits? Check.   Worth a second date? Check.

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Good evening all!  I hope this post finds you well.  As I gear up for my next date - next Monday with "J", I figured I'd share some thoughts on dating and self-esteem.  I'm sure most of us wonder what the opposite sex is looking for in a partner...but until you love yourself...dating can be down-right difficult.

At around 25 I had myself a good 'ol quarter-life crisis.  Oh yes.  Drastically changed the way I looked and hoped I'd feel better about myself.  I assumed with outward changes, men would like me better.  The truth became that until I liked myself more...no one even noticed. 

In recent times, I've even considered the addition of lip augmentation and perhaps breast implants...however, I can tell you that I just ate something that I must be allergic to, because I sit at my computer with HUGE lips right now.  They are so swollen from the reaction, I can't even smile correctly!  Plus, I look ridiculous - I mean these inflated lips do not fit my face.  We can thank our lucky stars that my throat did not close up! 

So how can we feel good about ourselves and therefore project the confidence needed to snag a man?  I say, everyone has different taste - some guys hate red heads and short hair and small boobs and thin lips...but I say, if they do, I'm just not the gal for them.  The good news is, someone out there loves that stuff, so I'll wait for them.  Plus, my charming personality is hard to resist :)  Holler.

The conclusion - a recent food allergy / lip plumping event has set me straight on loving what I got.  Hallelujah.